Welcome to One Quiet Voice!

We live in loud times. Everyone has a microphone and the potential for an audience as large as the imagination. What’s great is that it represents an unprecedented empowerment of self-expression globally. The challenge is that self-expression isn’t always fueled by creativity or the desire to say something personally meaningful.

There is a lot of “yelling” online these days – to sell, for attention, for power. How we connect online has merged with branding, marketing, and opinion-based journalism. Our attention is pulled in all directions and it can be hard to know who and what to trust.

In all the yelling, there are truths, there are outright lies, and there are truths presented in ways that make them lies. This is true of topics big and small.

And what we’re mostly unaware of is just how much the algorithms are shaping what we see and don’t – and in that creating our realities.

Frankly, I’m tired. (Many of us are.) But I also really care about people and the world. (I believe that most of us do.) As an introvert, when the group gets too large, the conversation too fast, my inclination is to pull back, stay quiet, and even zone out to prevent exhaustion. These days though even extroverts, who thrive on connectedness, are tired.

The problem is, the temptation to keep scrolling, to ignore or demonize the conversations that make us uncomfortable, actually takes away our power.

This is where our urges to express what’s important to us and how we see the world can make a difference. It’s all in how we say it.

I’m a clinical psychologist and until recently my bread and butter has been psychotherapy. As a person, however, I have a mix of identities and traits: I’ve had a lifelong, evolving spiritual practice and am naturally intuitive. I am a true empath, meaning that I absorb (or perhaps mirror) emotions from people, places, television, and even objects. I require time alone to recharge. I'm also "sensitive": Noise and dissonance are physically uncomfortable for me. I love learning, words and writing, and have been called “academic” in some of my interests. You could say that I’m a good mix of brains, spirit, and heart.

Psychologists are a mostly private bunch. Many of us are trained to leave the personal self out of the therapy room. For many, this also means not having a findable personal self on social media or otherwise outside our work. I understand the reasons for this. Yet to edit out my sensitive and spiritual selves and withhold relevant personal experiences denies me the very thing I believe therapy is all about: having more of our true, integrated selves.

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2024 is about to get louder. It’s an election year in the U.S., which in recent years has turned up the volume exponentially. My personal dilemma asks: How do I stay informed but not burn out? How do I take care of myself and stay engaged? How can I not add to the dissonance? I’m betting that others are asking these questions, too.

I consider the one-on-one psychotherapy work I do to be a privilege, but for my own self care, I maintain a small caseload. Ninety percent of Americans think there is a mental health crisis. More than half of therapists have no openings and 80% of people worry about affording therapy, anyway.* I’ve been asking myself for a while, given that my private practice is small, how can I offer more?

These questions convinced me to start simply with this blog. It's my attempt to use my single quiet voice to cut through some of the noise. What I have to say won’t be for everyone, but if it’s helpful or interesting to some, that’s wonderful.

In almost unbelievable ways, I’ve experienced how some seemingly small gesture that we put into the world can change lives. We only occasionally catch a glimpse of the ripple effect we have on others. This is the magic of creativity and self-expression. It’s not about being loud or controlling the message. It’s about the power of quiet resonance to move where it’s needed.

Online content and self-help books are no replacement for actual psychotherapy. If you need help for depression, anxiety, trauma or anything else, I strongly encourage you to seek help. And keep looking until you find the help that’s right for you. (You can read my post “How to Find A Therapist” as a start.)

This blog and related content will focus on three areas I care most about:

• Helping people to set boundaries and stop giving away authority over their own lives. This involves knowing what we feel, what we need, and why we give away our life choices.
• Exploring how to get through turbulent times without going negative. How can we take care of ourselves and our communities and avoid the burnout that extended conflict can create?
• I call this topic “Soapbox Psychology.” These are the things I find myself saying in my psychotherapy work that have potential broader value.

This is a project without a forecasted arrival point. I’ll do my best to publish regularly - twice a month, to begin with - and hope you’ll bear with me as we figure out this process together.

Meanwhile, I’ll leave you with some questions. These could be used as journal prompts or simply things to consider:

• Are there parts of yourself that you have limited?
• Why have you not been engaging these parts of yourself?
• Why is now the time to start?

Thank you so much for reading! If you liked this post, please consider subscribing to my newsletter. You'll receive future blog posts and my newsletter: 

Amra Stafford, PsyD
Dr. Amra Stafford is a psychotherapist, writer and teacher living in Tucson, Arizona. You can find her at dramrastafford.com.

 *Stringer, Heather. “Increasing Pathways to Access Mental Health Care.” Monitor on Psychology, January/February 2024: 61.